I have always prided myself on false beliefs. Well, its now that i realise that they are false. I didn't knew earlier.
I used to think that i can 'live' all alone on an island with no problem. I used to pride my assumed 'ability' to be able to live all by myself, of being kinda anti-social. It took just a month to realize how false and baseless these beliefs were.
The truth is, i can 'survive", but i cannot 'live" that way.
I never used to miss anyone. Or perhaps i did. Just that i didn't allow my conscious mind to acknowledge it. No more pretensions.
The same activities which were fun a few months back have lost all their charm. The same cooked dishes don't taste the same. The same music dosen't sound the same.
I remember the 'yellow' magical nights. I remember strolling in the lobby of my hostel at night, seeing the closed doors of rooms with my friends sleeping inside. Why don't the nights feel the same?
To realize that i miss 'talking' to people, that i miss 'eating' with people, that i miss 'hanging out' with people, seems startling. Me? I could never have imagined that it could come to this. And in just a month? And then, confessing it bluntly???
Nothing comes for free in this world. You pay price. So am i, paying in pursuit of dreams. I hope the dreams remain the same, when i am able to turn them to reality.
I don't feel like writing anymore. So i'll end it here.
